CHAPTER 54: 54: LESSONS IN GRAVITY VIII

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John wiped his brow. "Are you serious? You’re faster than any of those beasts."

"Exactly," Fizz said, grinning with all his (four) tiny sharp teeth. "If you can touch me, you can touch anything at the same rank. Consider this the final exam for ’Baby Doom Ball 101.’"

"Alright!!!"

John exhaled slowly, summoning his Black Hole Palm. Mana flowed through his body in a familiar hum, forming the coin sized void in his hand. The tiny black hole bent the air around it, and a faint pull tugged at the grass below.

Fizz’s eyes glimmered with mischief. "Rule one: I get to roast you the entire time. Rule two: you are not allowed to cry when I roast you. Rule three: don’t injure me, or I’ll haunt you like nightmares and make your pancakes burn forever."

John sighed. "You’re already haunting my waking hours."

"Good! Lesson complete in advance!" Fizz zipped upward in a blur. "Come on, Master Forgetful! Hit me if you can!"

John aimed and threw the first black hole like he had practiced. The void shot forward, steady but slow compared to the blur of red orange fur. Fizz dodged effortlessly, spinning upside down in midair.

"Ha! Missed me! You couldn’t hit a sleepy mushroom with that aim! Try harder."

"Fizz, you shit talk too much."

John gritted his teeth and summoned another, this time pushing it faster with a burst of mana. The black hole swerved toward Fizz, but he spun out of the way and flicked a tiny spark of fire toward John’s hood.

"Hot head!" Fizz cackled.

John yelped and smacked out the spark before it burned his cloak. He sent another black hole after Fizz, but the little elemental furball darted in looping circles, tossing small bursts of wind that rattled John’s hair and sent leaves swirling.

"You’re too slow!" Fizz sang in a sing-song voice. "Too slow, too wobbly, too sweaty! I can smell the fear and sadness of a man who can’t hit a fluffy ball!"

Fizz added, "I got a verse for you."

"You’re too slow!" Fizz sang by spinning through the air like a drunk firefly.

"Too slow, too wobbly, too sweaty!

I can smell the fear and sadness

Of a man who can’t hit a fluffy ball already!"

He zipped over John’s head and shook his little red backside.

"Missed again, oh tragic fate,

My master’s aim is second rate!

Left! Right! Up I go!

He swings his doom ball far too slow!"

Fizz looped around a tree branch and started drumming on it with his small furry paws, adding his own percussion.

"Dum dum dum! Here comes doom!

Oh no, it’s wobbly and full of gloom!

Black hole baby ball, tiny and sad,

Master Forgetful aim is very, very bad!"

He zoomed close to John’s ear and whispered dramatically,

"If I had a spirit fart, it would be laughing too.

Oh wait, I do not, but my butt mocks you!"

Then he burst into hysterical giggles, dodging another black hole attempt.

"Can’t hit me, can’t hit me,

I am the king of victory!

The fluffball dances, the master cries,

I see the tears behind his eyes!"

John kept firing in annoyance, his mana draining as he tried to predict Fizz’s next move. Each orb curved slightly better than the last, guided by instinct and the system’s subtle nudges, but Fizz was relentless.

Then Fizz’s eyes gleamed, and he said, "Let’s spice it up!"

He opened his mouth, and a thin jet of water shot toward John like a whip, smacking his shoulder.

John stumbled back, soaked. "Water? Really?"

Fizz snickered. "Elemental mastery, baby! Fire for cooking, water for bathing, wind for dramatic hair flips, and earth for butt kicking like—"

A clump of dirt smacked John in the chest.

"—throwing mud at you!" Fizz howled with laughter.

John wiped the mud away and summoned another black hole, this time focusing with everything he had. He tracked Fizz’s zigzag flight, waited for the rhythm of his loops, and launched the orb just as the little elemental slowed to throw another mudball.

The black hole clipped Fizz’s side, sucking a tuft of his fur into its edge before dissipating.

Fizz froze midair. His eyes went wide.

John froze too. "...Fizz?"

Fizz looked at the missing tuft of fur, then at John. His lower lip trembled. "You... you hit me..."

Fizz gasped like John had kicked his imaginary puppy. "My glorious, silky, perfectly conditioned fur! You monster! You villain! You... you ball-wielding maniac!"

John lifted both hands defensively. "I thought you could dodge! You’ve been dancing around me all morning!"

"Ohhh, so now you are mocking me?" Fizz’s voice cracked like a dramatic actor in a tragic play. "The great and mighty Fizz, wounded by his own master! Betrayal! Treachery! I can feel the emotional damage!"

He began to fake sob in midair, spinning in slow circles. Then he lunged forward and bit John’s ear.

"It was an accident!"

Fizz’s voice cracked like a betrayed hero in a tragic play. "You MOCK me!!! You are saying I am slow and weak. What is an accident?"

"I —no— I didn’t mean—"

Fizz let out an ear-splitting wail and spun in dramatic circles, clutching his tiny side as if mortally wounded. "My beautiful fur! My soft, luscious, perfect fluff! It’s gone! I’ll never be the same! Everyone loved this fur!"

John pinched the bridge of his nose. "There is no one here, Fizz."

Fizz ignored him, swooping down in a fury. "This is your fault! You did this! And now..." He bared his teeth and chomped down on John’s shoulder.

"OW! Fizz! Stop biting me!" John yelled, flailing his arms.

Fizz finally let go, his tiny fangs leaving a small red mark. He hovered above John, smug again. "That’s what you get for mocking me. That’s justice. Bite of justice."

John rubbed his shoulder. "You’re insane."

"Insanely magnificent," Fizz corrected. "But remember this, Master Forgetful... I am weak and slow because of you. The stronger you get, the more power I can use. So hurry up and become strong. Stop making me hold back. I wanna make mountains cry!"