Capítulo 677: Chapter 604: This Too Is a Kind of Responsibility

“Of course,” Nan Zhubin said. He naturally remembered the contents of the visitor’s statement as if it were deeply rooted in his mind, “I remember you emphasized at the time, ‘If things had arrived earlier, more people could have been saved.'”

Nan Zhubin displayed an exploratory expression: “Is your final accusation directed at this matter?”

“Yes.” Group Leader Li nodded, “At that time… the flood was still fierce, much fiercer than what you see at the camp now. Our area had a low-lying urban village, water had already flooded up to the second floor. I was coordinating the evacuation of the last batch of trapped residents at that time.”

His speech was slow, each word seemed to be dredged up from a heavy memory.

“Most people had been evacuated, but in one self-built building, a lone elderly resident, according to neighbors, was still there. Hard of hearing, perhaps he didn’t hear the evacuation broadcast. The water was too strong, our assault boats couldn’t make it across, and the fire department’s rescue ropes couldn’t be thrown that far. We watched the water level rise bit by bit towards the third floor…”

Group Leader Li paused, swallowed a mouthful of saliva. He clenched his fist tightly, his knuckles turning white.

“Later, a more powerful rescue boat was finally deployed. I, along with two team members and a local guide, took the risk and rushed over. Furniture, debris floated on the water surface, and… sigh. We finally got close to that building, the water had already reached the third-floor windowsill.”

He paused again for a long time, seemingly gathering the courage to continue speaking.

Nan Zhubin stared intently at Group Leader Li’s expression.

“We broke open the window and searched inside the flooded rooms… Finally, in the attic on the top floor, we found him. The elderly man was curled up on an old box, water up to his chest. In his hands, he tightly clutched a cloth bag containing photos of him and his wife, along with some yellowed documents… When we lifted him onto the rescue boat, he kept murmuring ‘thank you,’ saying he’d been a burden to us…”

The development of the story seemed good so far, nothing short of a scare.

But the turning point came unexpectedly.

“We safely transported him to the shelter. But… just as we were returning, ready to head to the next location, the intercom relayed a message… ahem.”

Group Leader Li cleared his throat forcefully.

He was not only conveying information to Nan Zhubin but was also engaging in self-healing venting.

“While we were rescuing that elderly man, a section of temporarily reinforced river embankment in a neighboring district gave way, several young team members sealing up a piping burst were… three were washed away… only one was recovered…”

“I’ve always wondered… if at the time we could have had more rescue resources, if the dispatch could have been more perfect… If that powerful rescue boat had arrived ten minutes earlier… could we have saved that elderly man faster; then could that boat, those people, have rushed to support the embankment in time? Could those three young men have been spared…”

At this point, Group Leader Li stopped again, or rather—he choked up.

Compared to typical visitors, Group Leader Li restrained his emotions more. Every time extreme emotions surged, he would choose silence to suppress and digest them.

Nan Zhubin expressed optimism about this situation.

After all, for a first conversation, expecting such a sturdy man to have an emotional release like wailing in front of him wasn’t realistic.

Nan Zhubin quietly waited, giving Group Leader Li ample time to release these long-suppressed emotions.

He did not attempt to comfort with words during this process, just quietly waited.

This time it took an extraordinarily long time, enough time for a dozen deep breaths.

Only then did Group Leader Li lift his head: “The supplies that arrived three days late… were actually tarpaulins.”

He let out a self-deprecating laugh: “Tarpaulins, hmm, seem unrelated to that accident, right? Even if delivered early, it seems they wouldn’t have been of much help, right?”

Nan Zhubin did not respond, the question did not require an answer.

Nan Zhubin simply returned a matching bitter smile fit for the situation.

Indeed, the next moment, Group Leader Li self-questioned and answered: “Yes, I actually know this matter isn’t directly related to logistics supplies. The situation at the river embankment was more urgent, with a higher priority for resource allocation, I understand.”

“But… but my mind just keeps thinking ‘what if’… in the end, it feels like there’s a big stone blocking my chest, suffocating me, then… then I always want to find something, or find someone to blame… as if in this way, I can feel a little better inside…”

Nan Zhubin quietly listened.

At this moment, he displayed a neutral stance instead.

Because the next question was crucial.

It was also the final question.

Nan Zhubin asked: “Did you only start feeling that there was a ‘they’ dragging down the speed of supplies allocation after that incident?”

Still battling emotional struggles, Group Leader Li was pulled right out.

He thought for a moment and then spoke after the time of three breaths: “I… don’t remember that clearly. Maybe, I also complained about slow supplies allocation due to similar matters before, but I could understand… maybe it was only after this incident that I frequently began to argue with people…”

Group Leader Li pondered for a while, as if making some determination: “…Yes, it can be said that after this incident, you could say yes.”

He exhaled deeply, as if removing a thick layer of armor.

He appeared much more relaxed.

But in the eyes of Nan Zhubin, the Group Leader Li who had shed his defense was more dangerous when facing the outside world.

[Defense] is called defense because it indeed has a protective function.

Even if this protection is harmful.

What Nan Zhubin had to do next was to let Group Leader Li relearn how to face external dangers, to let him protect himself.

The wound debridement was done, now it was time for stitching.

…

“Thank you for being willing to tell me this.”

As usual, Nan Zhubin first offered a string of [Unconditional Positive Attention], focusing on the visitor’s positive Psychological Energy.

Looking into Group Leader Li’s eyes, Nan Zhubin seriously said: “Bearing such memories, shouldering such weight, and still persisting in your position, coordinating countless complex tasks… Group Leader Li, this goes beyond the simple words ‘responsible.’ It requires enormous courage and resilience—”

“—therefore.” Nan Zhubin’s expression became solemn, “Please make sure to understand that the current situation you face of ‘seeking a scapegoat’ is definitely not because of a lack of integrity or shirking responsibilities. Quite the opposite, it’s precisely because you have a strong sense of responsibility and morality, unable to accept the powerlessness in reality, that your psyche kicks in this self-protective mechanism.”

Nan Zhubin softened phrases related to negativity as much as possible: “The occurrence of this situation is not a failure of you as a coordinator, but rather an act of heroic struggle under extreme pressure as someone with flesh and blood, conscience, and responsibility.”

Visibly, Group Leader Li’s expression gradually changed along with Nan Zhubin’s narration.

“—However.” Nan Zhubin then shifted the topic.

“Group Leader Li, we must also recognize, although this protective mechanism has helped you hold on in the short term, it is also continually depleting you, causing insomnia, anxiety, irritability, and straining your relationships with colleagues.”

“More importantly—it’s causing you to waste precious energy and wisdom on a fictitious enemy, possibly affecting your actual efficiency and judgment in solving real-world problems.”

Saying this, Nan Zhubin took out an A4 sheet of paper and spread it on the table.

“What we need to do now is not to negate your sense of responsibility but rather to find a healthier, more sustainable way to harbor this sense of responsibility.”